Love With All It's Quirks
by Insanely Me
Summary: Every love is filled with joy, disappointment, joy, and sadness, and Alex and Yassen's relationship is no different. If anything, it's harder. Warning: This is slash, and includes really OOC, well, characters.
1. Tea Bags

**New story! Yeah, I decided I didn't have enough to keep up with, so I started this one. Wonderful logic, right! Anywho, don't worry to much. This'll be a series of unconnected one shots. And yes, this is slash. No, there will be no smut. I do not right smut, and I don't ever plan on it ether. There might be hints but that's it. Thanks, and read on!**

Alex sat in the chair. His head, was being supported by his hand. His hand, being connected to his arm, was being supported by the table, which also held a coffee mug.

He took a few sips of the tea, the eighth cup had drank that night, and made a face. He had a bad hangover because he had stupidly agreed to have a drinking contest with Tom. He won, but by the time Tom dropped out, he was already drunk as hell.

The tea, which was the same as Ian always drank if he was hung-over, didn't seem to be helping.

Three cups of the disgusting beverage later, someone put a key in the keyhole, and the door opened. He didn't hear any footsteps, but knew when Yassen entered the room.

He picked up the mug and took a sip.

"Alex, your drink might work better if you add the tea bags."

**How do you like it? Continue? And please say yes, because I've already hand- written the next six or so chapters. Any who, please review! (It rhymed!)**


	2. Soup

**Managed to grab the computer for a few more minutes, so, here ya go!**

"Sit here." Yassen instructed, patting the bar.

He had cooked some sort of soup, and was rather proud of it to. Alex was usually the one who cooked or ordered out.

After Alex had done as he was told, Yassen put a spoonful of it in his mouth. "How is it?" He asked smiling.

Alex choked and barley managed to swallow.

"It can't be that bad." He said doubtfully and took a tentative sip, only to spit it back out quickly, much to Alex's delight.

"What happened?" He asked incredulity. "I followed everything to the P!"

"T. Not P." Alex said as he slid down. When he got beside him, he suggested innocently in his ear, "Maybe someone switched the salt and sugar, or replaced the herbs, or…."

He was cut off by a pouncing Yassen.

A while later, laying there in bed together, Alex sighed thoughtfully.

"If I knew you were going to react like that when I sabotaged your cooking, I would've done it months ago."

Yassen just rolled his eyes.

**This chapter did not go down the road that the GPS told it to go. It went left when it should've gone right. To bad. Now, it's time to cast your votes. Who, will be the next American Idol. Well, not literally. I'd have to go through all the infringement papers and such. Oops well!**


	3. Cell Phone

**Another chapter. Hope you like it!**

"Alex!" Yassen yelled across the small apartment. Usually, he'd just go find him, but, as with everything, there were exceptions.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked as he hurried to his side, figuring something drastic had happened.

"This phone," He pointed to the offensive object sitting on the table, "Is not working!"

Alex stared at him dumfoundedly, before picking it up, and holding the end button for several seconds.

He passed it back to Yassen, who stared at him, then at the phone, and then back at him with awe. "You are a god." He said appreciatively.

"And don't you forget it." He said with a wink as he sauntered out of the room.

Not five minutes later, Yassen called out again. He couldn't figure out why he couldn't hear anything. Alex righted the upside down phone, and sat down to begin the arduous task of teaching Yassen how to use a cell phone.

**Please review! If not, then I might have to break out my Voodoo dolls. (Maniac laughter follows you on your way to the pretty little button down below)**


	4. Clowns

**Who Hoo! Another chapter! I bet you're all dying with anticipation!**

***cricket, cricket***

**Yeah… And I've just realized that my Yassen is really OOC. To bad.**

**And, for all the other chapters, a disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Alex Rider. Not yet any way, I still have a few days before I go steal it. Wait, you did not just hear that. Oh dear.**

"How did you ever talk me into this?" Yassen asked as he vacuumed the carpet.

There old apartment had caught on fire and was being renovated, so they had decided to live in what Alex referred to as Ian's house, even though it legally belonged to him now.

"As I remember it, there wasn't a whole bunch of talking." He answered as he dusted.

Rolling his eyes, Yassen finished vacuuming and headed towards a bathroom with a mop.

Maybe five seconds later, Yassen screamed, rather girlishly, and Alex ran, trying to figure out what could be so scary that YASSEN, the world renowned assassin, would scream.

When he got there, he cracked up.

Yassen was deathly pale, and was staring right into the painted eyes of a ceramic clown.

The clown had been Jack's, and after she died, he didn't have the heart to go through her stuff, so he just left it.

"Really, clowns?" He managed to gasp out a few moments later.

Yassen slapped him none to lightly in the head and stalked out of the room.

A couple of days, and jibes, later, they were finished. The kitchen was sparkling, (Literally. Alex, in all his OCD glory, had cleaned every surface.), as was there new bedroom and the bathrooms. Since Ian had the master bedroom, they had kept that one, and there job related objects had been put in the remaining two rooms.

While they were putting there belongings up, Alex came over.

"Yassen, if you really want to keep the clown, you can."

**Okay, the reason I made them move, is because for the next chapter, they needed to be on street level, not in a building. And, since it's Halloween on Sunday and all, I'm going to update then too. Also, it will be more explicit than usual, not pure smut, but I'll still probably change the rating to a M, just to be safe.**


	5. Trick Or Treat

**Hey! It's me! And, finally, I can update! I would've yesterday, but I was to busy throwing candy (Literally) at skeletons and grim reapers. After about ten minutes of that, I turned off the porch light, and started watching Rise: Blood Hunter. I got really bored and watched Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror, couldn't stop laughing (I have been told I am a sadistic little bitch), and then turned it to The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy. Good times, good times.**

**P.S. I edited it. I shouldn't have to change the rating. Please tell me if I should though.**

Knocking his head against the wall, Yassen knew it would be a long night. Now, he understood why Alex had been so adverse to staying in a house and not an apartment building.

Which reminded him why he kept actually answering the door. Alex's plane had landed about an hour ago, and he couldn't wait.

Finally at the door, he heard, for the millionth time, 'Trick-Or-Treat!". He glared at the Glittery Princess and the Batman, and they quickly left.

He slammed the door shut, and stalked back over to his wineglass. Of course, as soon as he took a sip, the doorbell rung, yet again.

Growling, he walked over.

"Trick-Or-Treat." Alex said slyly as he slid inside and pushed Yassen against the door.

Frantic hands fumbled with buttons, tongues battled for dominance, and slender legs wrapped around muscled hips as they traded places.

The already rough fun became even rougher as Yassen pushed Alex farther up against the door for better leverage.

Alex's eyes rolled back with pleasure as Yassen started going harder and faster.

The two bodies rocked in time to there violent love- making. The closet door groaned and fell backwards, but the spy and assassin took no notice until they were finished. Lying on the door, sweaty, tired, and covered with bodily fluids, they finally noticed.

"Bloody hell! We just broke a door!"

**Like? Please review, if you do. And if you don't, to bad for you. And please, please, **_**please, **_**tell me if I need to change the rating. I really don't want to get into any trouble. Anywhat, REVIEW! Please?**


	6. DVD

**Another chapter, coming up! And yeah, Yassen is still waiting for Alex. Don't worry though, it'll soon be the other way around!**

Yassen settled back to watch a movie. He had shoplifted the first disc he had found without even looking at the cover. All he had done was taken it back to the apartment, which had finally been fixed, and popped it into the DVD player Alex had bought last week.

He sat stiffly in the soft loveseat, disappointed to find that his lover wasn't there to curl up with him, and let his mind drift through the commercials.

It got to the opening scene, and he was already ready to turn it off. Or shoot it, whichever one came first.

After glaring at it for a moment, he slipped back into his thinking place.

Alex would be back tonight from his current mission. He would drag himself in, and would fall asleep before he even had time to say hello. Alex had a tendency to forget to sleep while on missions, but it always caught back up to him later.

Whenever he woke up the next morning, probably closer to the afternoon, he'd apologize for not greeting him the day before, and they would start catching up, in more ways than one if he was up to it, and then life would go on, until one of them left again.

Yassen was to busy with his thoughts to hear the tired, stumbling steps. He did, however, hear Alex laugh.

"Is there any reason as to why you're watching "_Elmo Loves The Earth_?"

**Yep. That's it. One question for all you smart people out there though, why doesn't the space get bigger when you hold the shift button and the space bar? It just doesn't make any sense to me.**


	7. Antidepressants

**Awwww! I'm writing fluff! I'm so proud of me!**

Yassen rummaged through drawers, trying to find the hand gun Alex had given to him a couple weeks back, and he wasn't having much luck.

He closed the one he had been looking in, and went on to the next. He doubted it would be in there, since it was Alex's private drawer, but he was curious. What did he keep in there?

There were various unopened prescription bottles, a picture of Ian, Jack, and him when he nine, more pills, a couple of files, even more pain killers, and, this one was a surprise, a picture of the two of them, laughing and curled together on there bed.

He smiled, and as he was closing the drawer after putting the picture back in, he glimpsed a nearly empty bottle.

Expecting it to be pain killers that Alex had actually taken, he was surprised to find that they were antidepressants.

With his mind whirling, he went to the kitchen, sitting on one of the stools and waiting for Alex to come back from his morning run.

When he finally got back, he took one look at the bottle in Yassen's hands, realized what they were, and sunk down to the floor, apologizing the whole time.

Yassen hurried over and got down on his knees, joints creaking, in order to hold his lover. He shook for a while, holding it in, before the dam broke and the tears came.

When the water works stopped, he looked up at him and sniffled.

"I love you. And I really am sorry. I just figured you wouldn't want to deal with it." He told him, tears trying to start again.

"It is all right. I apologize as well for going through your things. I was trying to locate the hand gun you gave me a while back." Yassen answered quickly, hoping Alex wouldn't start again.

He chuckled nervously as Yassen pulled them up.

"About that…"

**Sorry, had to put a sad and not horny Alex in there for all you smut lovers. But, I kinda like how it turned out. Hope you did to! And I am now going to try reverse psychology on you all. Please don't review! Reviewing stories are horrible for your health, and eight out of seven doctors agree with me.**


	8. ER's and Bars

**WARNING: YASSEN'S A COMPLETE BASTARD IN THIS CHAPTER!**

**Kay, that's it. Oh, and, this is there breakup. :P Part One.**

Yassen couldn't figure out what was happening to them. Ever since he had found the pills in Alex's drawer, he was always wondering if he was hiding anything else. In short, there was much tension in between them.

Looking up at the sound of footsteps, he watched sadly as Alex sat on the opposite side of the couch, leaning away from him.

They sat around awkwardly before Alex muttered a small "Hello."

"Hello" Yassen replied, wincing at how cold his voice sounded.

Pleasantries exchanged, they lapsed back into the silent shunning.

And then, as if a dam had just broken, they were in each others face, screaming and giving out hurtful below the belt insults.

A strange feeling overcame Yassen, and he felt the need to _hurt_.

Grabbing Alex's small wrists, he jerked him forward cruelly, snapping bones, only to push him back into the coffee table.

Alex's head slammed against the sharp edge, and Yassen took advantage of his disorientation, kicking him several times in the ribs, hard enough to shatter.

Then those beautiful brown eyes looked up at him, confused and hurt, and the feeling drained out of him.

He grabbed the trashcan in the hall just in time. Everything he hadn't eaten in the last day or so made it's way back up his throat.

His love, his angel, was grasping at his ribs, trying to get his breathing under control. There had been an unspoken agreement between them, to never purposely hurt the other, and he had broken it.

"Go away." Alex whispered at him, and Yassen felt his heart break.

Shivering, he did as he was told. Closing the door quietly, he heard heaving as Alex was sick.

Still shaking, he got in his car and drove off, heading straight for the nearest bar.

Back at the house, Alex was crying, coughing, hiccupping, and throwing up all at the same time.

Accidentally glancing down, he realized that he had lost more than just food.

Staring at the blood he had just choked up, Alex Rider only had one thing to say.

"Oh shit."

He lunged for the nearest phone, crying out when he jostled broken ribs and landed on one of his already battered wrists.

He grabbed it and typed in the number with his less damaged hand, putting it on speaker.

"Hello?" Came a happy, inquisitive voice.

"Ben? Can you come pick me up." He asked the man with a shaky voice.

"What's wrong?" Was Ben's response, and Alex could hear the door opening and him going outside to start his car.

"I need you to take me to the hospital."

**Review! Or Alex and Yassen will stay apart forever, mwhaaaa! But, yeah. Part two might be up by tomorrow, and part three the day after. But only if I'm motivated enough….**


	9. Faux Pas and Cigarettes

**I'm actually updating when I said I would! *Gasp* Hope you read and review! Called Faux Pas and Cigarettes cause Faux Pas means misstep in French. I think. That's what Wikapedia told me anyway.**

Ben glanced worriedly at his friend, who was currently slumped dejectedly on his couch.

Alex had just been released from the hospital. His ribs were healing nicely, and his concussion was long gone. He still couldn't use his left hand, but the doctor said as long as he was careful he could use his right one.

He shifted his position, falling of the couch with an 'ouch'.

Hurrying over, he pulled him back on the couch and sat beside him, putting a comforting hand on his leg.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Ben questioned, truly perplexed. He had worked with Alex on several occasions, and knew him to be an exceptional fighter. Who could have beaten him without giving him a chance to fight back?

Alex hesitated for a moment, before shaking his head violently.

"No." Was the only thing Ben got from the upset teenager.

"Okay." Ben sighed out, turning on the T.V. to turn on a football game.

Alex blinked in surprise. If Yassen wanted to know something he wasn't telling him, he would pester and dig until he found it. Ben just accepted.

Smiling, he settled back, pretending that he had never loved the assassin, didn't still love him. And he pretended that he didn't notice when Ben picked up and held his hand.

**~0_o~ **

Yassen blew out a cloud of smoke, and then dropped his cigarette in the ashtray.

Taking another swig of his eighth or so drink, he looked out the only window in the bar and out onto the city. It was pretty at this time of night, filled with twinkling lights. They reminded him of Alex's eyes…

_NO!_ He mentally berated himself. Don't think about him. Don't think about his long legs, or the way he giggled when he had to much to drink, or how he could become so aroused when he bit him _just _so.

He sighed. This wasn't working at all.

He paid for his drinks, and was about to stumble out, when a woman walked up to him

**~o_0~**

It was inevitable really. He had been drunk and miserable and she had been more than happy to forget that fact. The other was heartbroken and full of love with a friend who was willing to take advantage of that fact.

The storms came and went for the sperated lovers, nethier of able to fool themselves about who they were sleeping with. The hair was to dark, orthe hands to small, the legs to short, the shape so wrong.

They reacted differnetly when they fully realized what they had done. Yassen promptly kicked the woman out, before grabbing his phone and dialing the number, while Alex started crying, letting the salty tears flow freely.

His cellphone rang, and he crawled out of Ben's embrace to pick it up, only to drop it when he heard whos voice it was.

He picked it up again, just in time to hear Yassen say, "I'm so fucking sorry Alex. Please we need to talk. I'll meet you at the house. Please come. I love you."

Alex took one glance at his friend, who looked so happy to have gotten him in bed with him, before getting dressed and walking with trembling legs out the door and towards his house.

Towards Yassen.

Towards his love.

**Love me? I hope you do. And yep, this is the first time I've written Alex with some one other than Yassen. So, how'd I do? Should I attempt a Ben/ Alex fic. in the future?**


	10. Heart Break and Admitted Mistakes

**Updating when I said I would, three days in a row. What. Now!**

**Disclaimer- Don't own it…**

Throwing open the curtains, Yassen slumped back down into the couch for what seemed like the millionth time. He could have sworn he heard a car pull up.

Sitting there, Yassen wondered if Alex was even coming. He had to hang up before he busted into tears, feeling very much like a teenage girl after her first breakup. But then again, not many teenage girls could have had there hearts broken by the certain blonde beauty he was thinking about, could they?

He thought he heard a car pull up, again, but he decided that it was his just his brain playing tricks on him again.

So he was surprised when Alex walked in hesitantly.

Yassen winced when he saw the bruises running up his arms and the bags under his eyes, as if he hadn't slept in a while. He tasted something salty and realized he was crying.

Alex noticed as well, stepping forward cautiously. When Yassen didn't attack him, he flung himself at him, hugging him as tight as he could.

That's when he smelled the vodka on his breath.

He froze, and Yassen pulled away and started sobbing. Not the silent tears he had been shedding a moment ago, but body racking ones that took away his air and made him feel as if he was suffocating.

"I'm sorry Alex, I'm sorry! I was drunk, and she said it would make the pain go away. But it didn't work. Neither did the drinking." He told him sadly after he managed to calm himself.

"It's not any worse than what I did." Alex replied with a crooked smile.

"Ben." Yassen stated, and Alex nodded, even though it wasn't a question.

There was silence for a while after that, but it wasn't awkward. It was a memory filled quite, as they subtly moved closer to each other.

Alex stroked the side of Yassen's tear streaked face, and pulled him in for a soft, loving kiss.

Yassen broke the silence when they moved apart, asking a question in a half serious half joking voice. But mostly serious.

"Is it to early for make up sex?"

**This was crap. Sorry. But, yeah. Review and tell me how you hated it? By the way,**

**END OF THE RHYMING TITLE TRIOLGY!**


	11. Wedding

**Two quick notes.**

**1. I put up a warning. Now it says that this IS slash and that the characters ARE OOC. Sorry for not doing that in the beginning.**

**2. A few more chapters, and I'm going to end this. Sorry, but I feel that if I don't end it soon, I'm going to continue it until the grave. **

"Do I have to go?" Yassen asked, trying to keep the whine out of his voice.

It had been nearly a month since there fight, and even though they still had awkward moments, they seemed to be getting the hand of there complicated relationship again.

Alex sighed as he heard the question for at least the fiftieth time, and paused his attempts to get a knot out of his lovers bow tie.

"Yes! It's Tom's wedding, and he asked me to come. And if I have to go, then you do to. And besides, his fiancée is obsessed with homosexuals." He told him exasperatedly.

"You mean she reads yaoi." Yassen offhandly commented, regretting it when Alex raised an eyebrow and forced him to explain.

They got to the wedding without to much trouble, and the ceremony passed by without incident. Well, except for the fact that the soon to be Mrs. Harris almost got strangled when she man- handled the two into kissing, where she quickly snapped a picture, that according to her, would be framed and placed over there bed. Tom gagged, and Yassen couldn't help but smile as Alex laughed at his friends face.

When they said there vows, Alex sighed wistfully.

Yassen glanced at the happy couple and them back at Alex's wishful face.

The look prompted a comment that took them both by surprise.

"Do you want to get married?"

**Reviews are welcomed! And, if anyone will draw me a Yassen/Alex or Ben/Alex pic., I'll write anything they want me to. And by anything, I honestly mean ANYTHING. Smut, Angst, Parody, you tell me. Please?**


	12. M16 and the Disguise

"**Why are you so happy?"**

"**Because our lives suck."- Avenue Q**

**Sorry, heard that just now and couldn't help but putting it out there.**

**I know I told you guys this would be the last chapter, but I lied. One more, then the end. Oh, and this one doesn't really fit into the time line. :)**

"This," Alex told Ryan Rooster, M16's new disguise expert, pointing to the disguise laid out, "Is not going to work."

The mission was a simple, tie-up-the-loose-ends type of mission, and Alex was sure he didn't need a disguise. But as Ryan pointed out, they _had _seen him, and M16 loved making him miserable.

Besides, Blunt had off handly commented that he had always wanted to try the idea out on one of his agents, just to see if it would work.

Mrs. Jones, being the suck up she is, agreed.

And surprisingly, it _did _work. The idiots didn't have a clue as to who he was. He simply waltzed into the factory, planted the bomb, and then ran for his life.

He had to admit, it really was a good idea. Simply and inexpensive. In fact, the only downside to the whole idea, was that it was easily forgettable.

So who could really blame Yassen for shooting Alex in the foot? When some guy you've never seen before walks into your house like they own it, it tends to bring out the worst in Russian assassins named Yassen Gregorvich.

After he had realized who he had shot, he ran over to Alex and helped him into a chair.

"Alex, why are you wearing a fake mustache?"

**Well, I wrote this whole thing during Springtime For Hitler from the musical The Producers, so, yeah….**

**Review?**


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